5 Signs You’re Disconnected From Your True Self
If you're like me, you've probably heard phrases like "connect with your true self" floating around in the world of personal growth and healing. But let’s be honest—what does that actually mean? And why does it even matter?
For a lot of us, the idea of being disconnected from ourselves might not register because we’re walking around thinking we’re fine. But beneath the surface, there might be signs we’re overlooking.
So, let’s take a step back and explore what it means to be disconnected from ourselves, how it shows up, and why it’s worth paying attention to.
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Sign #1: You’re Overly Invested in Other People’s Lives
Can you relate to this? You’re always the one nurturing others, checking in, and trying to fix their problems. For many of us, especially women, this behavior is reinforced from a young age—in our families, friendships, and society at large.
I used to feel deeply attached to my friends’ choices, almost as if their lives were my responsibility. I’d get emotionally invested in their decisions, even when it wasn’t my place. It led to bitterness, disappointment, and frustration. The truth is, we can’t control others—and trying to will only drain us.
Sign #2: You’re Disconnected From Your Body
For years, I lived in my head. I thought my intellect was all I needed to navigate life. I’d ignore how I felt physically and emotionally because I’d been conditioned to distrust or even dislike my body. Growing up under constant criticism, I didn’t feel good about how I looked or how I felt.
When people asked me, “How are you feeling?” I’d have to pause and really think about it because I wasn’t in tune with myself. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and it’s never too late to start reconnecting with your body.
Sign #3: You Fear Being Alone
This one hits home for me. For a long time, I equated having lots of friends with being likable and trustworthy. I’d accept anyone into my life, even if they were toxic or brought no value, because the thought of being alone felt unbearable.
I never stopped to ask myself: Do I even enjoy being around this person? How do they make me feel? Learning to sit with yourself and enjoy your own company is a powerful step toward self-connection.
Sign #4: You Don’t Know What You Like or Want
When you’re consumed by other people’s needs and opinions, it’s easy to lose touch with your own interests. Maybe you’ve adopted values and preferences that aren’t truly yours because you wanted to belong. Maybe you’ve stopped doing the things that once made you happy because life got busy or you felt guilty prioritizing yourself.
I see this often with moms who give all their energy to their kids. They stop pursuing hobbies, hanging out with friends, or creating for fun. Over time, they feel bitter and frustrated. Remember: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Rediscovering what makes you happy is essential for your well-being.
Sign #5: You Spend Too Much Time Doing Things You Hate
Whether it’s staying in a soul-sucking job or filling your days with tasks you don’t enjoy, is a major sign of disconnection. Yes, there are times when we have to make sacrifices. But when that becomes the norm, it’s damaging. It chips away at your sense of joy and vitality.
I used to believe I had to earn my joy—that I needed to work hard and suffer to deserve good things. Even in my creativity, I’d save my favorite art supplies for a “worthy” project, never letting myself enjoy them. If you’re constantly waiting for the “right time” to do what you love, ask yourself: When will that time come?
If any of these signs resonate with you, know this: You are worthy of love, joy, and fulfillment exactly as you are.
Self-Reflection Prompts
To help you start reconnecting with your true self, here are two journaling prompts you can explore:
What parts of your true self are you hiding due to fear of rejection?
Who would you be if you could embrace your most authentic, playful, and fun self? What would that look like?
Take time to journal on these questions and see what comes up.
Reconnecting with yourself is a journey, but it’s one worth taking. You deserve to live a life that feels true and joyful.
Until next time, stay creative!
Renata is a creativity coach empowering neurodivergent and multi-passionate women of color, to use creativity as a tool for self-discovery and healing, so they can let go of feeling inadequate and insecure and start experiencing more confidence and self-acceptance. She’s currently offering a free copy of her therapeutic art making workbook when you sign up for her email list. Sign up here to get your free copy.
